I am really not selfish… maybe a little. But honestly my mom told me that formula is better because it has more vitamins and the baby gains weight faster and sleeps longer. Ok, so I will do more research on this. But what if the baby can’t drink milk? Both me and my gf are lactose intolerant. Will this matter? Give me a break here, I am excited to be a dad but scared and clueless too. Where can I find good information without the hostility? websites? books?
January 27th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Breastmilk is the healthiest thing for the baby. I will give you my experience with both.
I have both breastfed and formula fed. Breastfeeding was much easier. Formula is expensive, why pay for formula when breastmilk is free? (I spend over $100 a month on formula)
Every time you go somewhere you have to bring enough formula and if you don’t bring enough, you have to leave. You have to have safe, clean water wherever you go to be able to mix the formula (if you mix it before you go you have to keep it cold somehow). If you buy ready to feed formula you have to have somewhere to keep it refrigerated.
If you warm the bottles you won’t have a warmer everywhere you go so you have to stand warming a bottle in the sink (if you have a source of hot water), when you are somewhere like the mall this is a major pain, who even wants to touch the sinks in those nasty bathrooms.
Even warming the bottles at home is a pain because the baby is crying the whole time.
With breastfeeding there is always free, warm food right there for the baby.
Plus your baby may not tolerate certain formula so you have to keep switching formula until you find the right one. You may never find the right one. (Despite what people say they are NOT all the same, babies tolerate some better than others).
When you run out of formula you better hope you are near a store (and a store that carries the brand you use as well, they don’t all carry the same brands).
All in all formula is much more of a pain. You aren’t selfish you just don’t know enough about breastfeeding, I didn’t either when I decided to quit breastfeeding and go with formula.
Encourage your gf to breastfeed, it is not only healthy but way easier in the long run.
If I had to do it over again I would still be breastfeeding my son who is 7.5 months, I totally regret quitting breastfeeding after 5 weeks. I have learned a lot since then.
And sorry but your mom is wrong.
January 27th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
If your girlfriend is lactose intolerant then she is not eating dairy anyway, this should not affect your baby with breastfeeding. Baby is not drinking cows milk…Mommy’s milk is by far the best choice. There are some instances when mother can’t feed baby or when baby just doesn’t want to feed from mom. I would talk to a lactation nurse at your hospital and then to your dr. about the best alternative for your baby especially if there is a concern with lactose intolerance. Also there are many great benefits to formula feeding and the formula is quit healthy for baby it does not have more vitamins than mothers milk and it does fatten up baby, but if you have a healthy baby there is no need for fattening up!! In any case formula just doesn’t compare to breast feeding.
January 27th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Breastmilk is better with more vitamins and antibodies than they can’t add to formula but formula is a good second choice for many. If your baby is lactose intolerant or has a milk sensitivity then mom just doesn’t drink milk or eat dairy to help with that. There are breastfeeding classes at hospitals to get lots of information before a baby is even born and even after they are born and pediatricians will help you with allergies your baby may have. There are formulas made for lactose intolerant babies but they can also nurse too.
January 27th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Patrick, as a new dad you will learn to think of things differently than you did before. Good for you for being open minded and doing some research despite what your mom told you.
A generation ago, many women were led to believe by formula marketing, that formula was better for babies than breastmilk. But it never was an never could be. Infant formula is cows milk that has been tweaked to deal with problem after problem after problem. Does it make logical sense to you that it COULD possibly be better or more complete than human milk?
Just so you know, gaining weight faster and sleeping longer are not health indicators. They may actually be more risky.
There are very few babies who cannot take their mothers milk; 2-3%. And for them, there is formula, and thank goodness there is. But your gf can breastfeed, and if she wants to, then you should offer all the support in the world.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:35 am
People on here are so rude. I read your other question, and maybe it’s just the way you answered it. I had a baby in April, and honestly, I had the same concerns as you do for your girlfriend. I don’t know how old you are, but the way you wrote your question maybe indicates you are about to be a young parent? I’m not positive about that.
Honestly, breastfeeding IS better, but formula is the next best thing. A lot of women have a strong desire to breastfeed their child and if they can, then it is the best for the baby. After you have a baby, your life changes. I don’t agree with everyone telling you it’s not your choice, because afterall, it is also your child, but like I said – a lot of women have that strong desire, so your girlfriend is probably going to want to do that. I don’t know if I could find you any sources that would say formula is better than breastfeeding, because I dont think it is. Like I said – I don’t breastfeed – I formula feed, but I do think breastfeeding is better for the baby.
January 28th, 2010 at 3:58 am
Kudos to you for at least wanting to do some research!
I found this website which has some interesting information. One of the things they note is that just because the parents are lactose intolerant doesn’t mean that the child will be too. Here’s the link http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/l…
Also, back when your mother was young formula was the new best thing, as was putting women under full anesthesia to give birth the thing to do, obviously, that isn’t exactly the practice anymore…. So, no offense to your mother, but she doesn’t always know best. Check out LaLeche League’s website, there are groups all over the world and it is basically mothers helping other mothers http://www.lalecheleague.com/public also, here’s a list that compares formula to breast milk that I think you might find interesting http://www.compleatmother.com/canned_vs_…
January 28th, 2010 at 8:31 am
I felt kinda bad after writing my answer and reading your comments.
You are a guy and its typical for a new dad to be totally oblivious to what is best for a baby.
There is an amazing book that my Dad bought for me when I was almost due.
Its called Canadian Medical Association Complete Book of Mother and Baby Care.
It has absolutley everything you need to know eg
Sterilization of bottles
How to breastfeed, latching on, pumping
How to change a baby boy VS how to change baby girl
How to dress baby
Reasons why baby cries
Colic
Weight gain/ heigh
Milestones to reach each month
What do do when your baby is sick- lists of endless illnesses and solutions
Emergency situations with a child- bleeding, vomiting, etc..
The information is endless.
January 28th, 2010 at 10:18 am
Breastfeeding IS better; its tailored made to give the baby the proper amounts of nutrients and vitamins, its free, it helps with mom/baby bonding, it helps mom lose weight quicker, and it contains over 100 nutrients that synthetic milk could never offer.
Your mom is dumb, sorry but formula isnt better, I dont know where she’s getting her info.
Dont give the baby milk, you have to buy the powder formula if u choose not to breastfeed.
January 28th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
askdrsears.com has a very comprehensive detailing about formula vs. breast milk. Also you can purchase or borrow from your library, The Breastfeeding Book by Martha Sears.
I don’t know how old your mom is, but it once was thought that formula was superior. It’s not so. How can something manufactured be better for you than the real thing? Formula will also run you at least $100 a month, not to mention extra trips to the doctor as formula fed babies tend to have more colds, etc, than breast fed babes. Why not breast feed, ask parents for a pump as a gift and take that money you’ve saved and put it in a fund for your baby? Maybe take a nice night out once and awhile?
My son was breast fed and is two. In the last two years he’s seen the doctor 4 times. Twice for cold related issues, once for a scratched cornea and once for athletes foot (I didn’t think a two year old could get it either).
January 28th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
breastfeeding is PROVEN better for children your mom is just from old school when doctors pushed formula if both of you are lactose intolerant the baby maybe but the baby wouldn’t get any kind of milk if you are nursing and the mom isn’t consuming any dairy as far as formula I think they make a soy based or lactose free kind( just so you know children shouldn’t be given cow’s milk till after 1 yr and formula is mixed with water NOT milk)
January 28th, 2010 at 8:52 pm
check out my answer to your last question. formula has come a long way and is very healthy. but not nearly as healthy as breastmilk. its natural to be scared and clueless. don’t feel bad, get educated. google the topic, talk to the ob/gyn or a pediatrician. if your baby can’t tolerate breastmilk you’ll find out and you won’t have had to spend any money because BREASTMILK IS FREE!!!!!!! Then you can buy the appropritate formula. search the topic on yahoo answers also. by the way your mom is right about formula babies gaining more weight and sleeping longer but breastmilk still has more advantages. you’re going to be a good dad, this is just the kind of motions you’ll have to go through to get there.
January 29th, 2010 at 2:57 am
There are many more vitamins found in breastmilk that they can’t even duplicate to put into formula. The breastmilk changes to fit the baby’s needs exactly. It even gets thicker when the baby is sick. It’s amazing how our bodies work. And actually, you’re right about the milk thing. To some babies, it matters a lot! Lots of little one’s can’t quite digest milk properly — it’s hard on their stomachs. So if you’re breastfeeding, all you do is stop eating dairy (no extra expenses in buying fancy formulas). If you’re not able to breastfeed (or just plain don’t want to for other reasons), that’s a different story. You do what you gotta do for your baby =)
January 29th, 2010 at 5:02 am
-breast feeding is best: it’s not only the vitamins it also makes the child immune to certain diseases etc. No milk will ever be as good.
-lactose intolerance mostly manifests itself at a later age. Whatever the case, you’ll notice soon enough if the baby is intolerant.
Good luck, read up, and don’t worry about the step mother too much.
January 29th, 2010 at 8:55 am
I would buy the formula and bottles etc… but would try breastfeeding first to see how it works out. This is what I did and I’m glad I bought it! Both of my babies had trouble latching on – then we got thrush (so painful!) – I loved the fact that I was feeding my girls by breast but I had no choice but to switch to bottles after 4 weeks because of the infection. Try breastfeeding to see how it goes but don’t be pressurized into feeling you have to breastfeed. (I know the disappointment of not being able to)
January 29th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Hi,
I think the most important thing to start with is to get your baby into a good sleep routine. I had massive problems with getting my 4 month old son to sleep. He would just lie awake and cry for hours, then when he finally went to sleep he would wake every hour or two hours through the night and cry again! Talk about pulling our hair out …. we were absolutely desperate for sleep!
It was a baby sleep audio program recommended by a friend that finally saved us. We followed the advice and began by creating a baby sleep routine which included bathtime, dimming of the lights, putting James into his crib, final nappy change and then lullabies. We also made recommended changes to his naps during the day and used some of the other recommended techniques. Within two weeks he was sleeping through the night most nights with just the odd night where he would just wake once!
Definitely start by creating a good baby sleep routine though and you could find that solves most of your baby sleep problems.
Good luck!
If you want to take a look, the audio program is at http://www.babysleepsolution.com
January 29th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
LOL..sorry, that may have woked for your mom, but she doesn’t speak for every woman in the world…and as u can see…we all have differing opinions. I’ve never heard of a baby that can’t drink breast milk..some don’t want to..so instead the mother formula feeds.
Just because you are lactose intolerant, doesn’t mean your baby will be.
January 29th, 2010 at 8:14 pm
to hell with those people you are just asking a question.
yes breast milk is better but not all babies can latch on and some women do both breast and formula.
they have lactation nurses to help you with all questions and concerns just ask the maternity ward to suggest someone.
good luck!
January 30th, 2010 at 1:55 am
I always heard breastfeeding was better but my kids were both on formula and turned out great plus with formula their are different types so you can adjust more to baby specifics. Congrats on being a dad, sounds like your trying to be a good one, very comendable.
January 30th, 2010 at 8:18 am
you are doing the right thing by breastfeeding. It is so much better for baby
January 30th, 2010 at 9:50 am
Formula is chock full of vitamins, however, the majority of it is not bio-available, meaning the baby cannot absorb it. For instance, the iron in breastmilk is between 50 and 75% bioavailable, meaning the baby can absorb 50-75% of it.
Formula has more iron in it, but only about 4-10% of it is bioavailable. That’s why they need to put such large amount in, because the baby can only absorb a very small amount of it.
So, your mom is right in the respect that it may have higher levels of vitamins, but the baby cannot absorb them.
If the baby is lactose intolerant, your milk girlfriend’s milk should still be fine, since she won’t be consuming any dairy products since she’s lactose intolerant. Regular formula is chemically altered cow’s milk, so that would obviously cause the baby problems if he or she was lactose intolerant. Soy formula may work, but then you are getting even further away from what the baby is meant to eat.
Please do your research before making a decision. There is so much about breastmilk that most people don’t know. You would be doing your child a disservice to not have your girlfriend breastfeed. It’s health benefits are immeasurable.
Since you admit to being a bit selfish, here are some reasons for you:
~Breastfeeding burns an average of 500 calories a day…great way for your girlfriend to get back in shape.
~The woman’s risk of breast cancer is much lower if she breastfeeds.
~The woman’s risk of getting diabetes is lower.
~She will (and you too) generally enjoy several months period-free when the woman breastfeeds (with my first, I had a wonderful 15 months before I got my period back)
~No bottles to clean, no milk to warm up.
~Much less stuff to cart around when you go somewhere.
~You don’t have to worry about always making sure you have enough formula.
~Formula is expensive, and formula fed infants get sick more often, meaning more $ for doctor’s visits and medications
Oh, and by the way, formula is not the next best thing to breastfeeding. The list goes this way:
1. Breastmilk, straight from the child’s mother
2. Breastmilk from the child’s mother, but given in a bottle/cup/etc
3. Breastmilk from another mother
4. Formula
January 30th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
It is going to be highly unlikely that your new baby will be intolerant of mommy’s milk…if you are worried about intolence then don’t use formula..it has tendency to make baby’s stomach upset anyway….why do you want a baby to gain weight faster than nature intended…as for the sleeping longer…if your GF learns to nurse laying down with your baby she and baby will both sleep more…With formula you have to listen to your poor little baby scream while you get up make a bottle wait for the bottle to warm up and then still have to feed your baby while you are still half asleep…with breastfeeding you hear baby fuss some you get up get your baby bring your baby to your warm bed and you GF just nurses your baby and she goes back to sleep while everyone else does too….
Breastfeeding.com
Kelly’sMom.com
both are breastfeeding websites….you should also look at a breastfeeding class
January 30th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Right, well, I answered you first question and was a bit riled by it as thought you were a troll.
I’m going to hope you’re not and try to help as best I can because believe it or not I’m not a total bit*h!
It is your girlfriends choice as to whether she wants to breastfeed or not and I don’t think it’s a good idea to convince her not to if that’s what she wants to do.
Breast milk is THE best food for a baby, on it’s own for the first 6 mths of life and then along with solids for the next however long. Formula can provide the calories, vitamins and minerals that a baby needs to survive and grow but it really doesn’t provide the antibodies that breast milk does and it does contain chemicals that may not harm the baby but that the baby does not need to have in it’s system.
Breast milk really is fantastic stuff. It’s free, it is developed especially for the needs of the baby and the right amount comes at the right temperature. You don’t need anything but yorself, the baby (and maybe a muslin). There is no sterilizing to do and no bottles to make.
If your baby is lactose intolerant or milk protein allergic then you will soon find out because the baby may be very sicky or have rashes etc and the HV or Dr will tell you what’s going on. You can’t second guess this one. You just need to wait and see. My son is lactose intolerant and my daughter is protein allergic. Breastfeeding is actually very good for these conditions as breastmilk contains alot less lactose than formula and the milk protein can be controlled by what the mum eats.
Whether or not a baby will gain weight more quickly on formula is really not an issue. Breastfed babies tend to gain weight more quickly in the first 3 mths and then ease off a bit and formula fed babies tend to gain less weight (than b/fed babies) in the first 3 mths but then gain more after that. It’s swings and roundabouts.
About the boob thing….it must be weird when you’re used to her boobs being yours but their only on loan and then you can get them back. Whether or not they go saggy is not determined by the breastfeeding but by the pregnancy and your girlfriends genes so the damage will already have been done by the time she comes to breastfeed. Your girlfriends body will very prob be different to how you remember it before she fell pregnant but that’s the way it is.
Be proud of her new body, it is the body that gave you your baby.
The last thing that I wanted to say was that formula fed babies do tend to sleep longer more quickly because formula takes the baby longer than breastmilk to digest. It has nothing to do with calories or anything like that, it’s just that the babies system does not process formula as quickly as breastmilk, which takes about 2 hrs to process.
Please be supportive of whatever your girlfriend decides to do and have a look at these sites for more info.http://www.kellymom.com/http://life.familyeducation.com/breastfe…http://kidshealth.org/parent/food/infant…http://www.americanpregnancy.org/firstye…http://www.safekids.co.uk/BreastVsBottle…
January 30th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
All experts agree that breastmilk is best for the baby in almost every circumstance. Any parenting book you pick up in the bookstore will say so.
On the other hand, breast feeding can be stressful on the mother. In my case, I breast fed exclusivly for 1 month, then had to start supplimenting with formula. When my son was 3 months old we went off breastmilk all together for two reasons. 1) we thought he may have milk allergies and the doctor was wanting us to try different formulas to see if we could fix them. It turned out to be reflux instead, but didn’t know that at the time. 2) I have a severe anxiety dissorder. None of the medications are really good to take while breast feeding, so I’d been trying to muddle through without them. However, we felt this was negatively affecting our child because it meant that I was often moody, emotional, and stressed. Breast milk wouldn’t have added enough of a benefit to compensate for this.
There are many many resources out there for parents to read. If this is your first child and you are nervous, I suggest taking some parenting classes before the baby is born. Talk to your girlfriend’s doctor about where she plans to deliver. Most hospitals offer free or low cost childbirth and parenting classes to parents who plan to deliver with them.
Another resourse I like is linked below. It’s a book called the “Baby Owner’s Manual”. It’s a semi-spoof child rearing book, but the information in it is valid and good. They tell you all the right things, they just do it in a very light and funny way! You can buy it in almost any bookstore for about $15, or order it from Amazon. If you order from Amazon I suggest ordering used. You can get the book often for as low as a penny, and even with S&H it’s usually less thatn $5.
If you really want more that that, I suggest you and your girlfriend subscribe to Parents magazine. I’ve never subscribed, but they’re my favorite to read in the Dr’s office. They offer alot of good information, and often multiple opinions on the same problems.
January 31st, 2010 at 1:51 am
Lactose intolerant is irrelevant with infants, all humans produce lactase (the protein that breaks down the sugar lactose, present in milk) in their infancy.
As for formula having more vitamins and minerals; well no it really doesn’t. Breast milk has all the vitamins and minerals an infant needs, and though it’s lower in iron the iron is more readily absorbed by an infant gut. Breast milk also has lipids and proteins tailored to the human baby, formula is made from cow’s milk which is tailored for a calf – not people. You mom is sorely ignorant on this, she may be simply justifying her own choices not to nurse. Some women have a hard time using their breasts in the way they were designed to be used.
Oh yeah, they sleep more because formula is so hard to digest, and the sugars make their body over respond to the glucose levels and release too much insulin – lowering their blood glucose levels too much. As for gaining weight, babies are starting to have signs of illness like adults with morbid obesity – like fatty livers and high cholesterol levels. Formula is indicated in this as being a problem. Partly due to bottles being easier to fill a tummy before the full signal gets to the brain, this takes about 20 minutes – and guess what! 20 minutes is how much time an average infant takes to completely drain their mom’s breasts.
So formula fed infants are often overfed a food that was not meant for them, that puts them to sleep for along time meaning less time with their parents, they lack the antibodies from breast milk as well as lipids that are important for brain development, and they produce lactase that breaks down lactose regardless. The links below are for you, the best resource is the first one.
And one thing to think about – breast milk is free, convenient, easy – formula is such a racket that often gangs and terrorists steal formula to resell with a profit. Formula makers have everything to gain from winning you over, you have nothing to loose by saying no to them – and everything to gain by saying yes to nursing.
January 31st, 2010 at 5:55 am
I tried to breastfeed my son because everyone said it is healthier for the baby. Breastfeeding is supposed to improve the child’s immune system and empower their brains. The bad thing about breastfeeding is that the child stays hungry at first and mom will be going through a very painful and sleepless nightmare. So i quit breastfeeding and I went with the next best recommended thing — Enfamil Formula. Do your research and see why Enfamil is the next best thing for your child. It’s the closest thing to breast milk. They also have formula for lactose intolerant babies. I love them.